Dating After Divorce

 

“I want to love you wildly. I don’t want words, but inarticulate cries, meaningless, from the bottom of my most primitive being, that flow from my belly like honey. A piercing joy, that leaves me empty, conquered, silenced.”   ~ Anais Nin

A few weeks ago I wrote about my divorce for the first time publicly,

the response to which has been immense and exciting.

Thank you for your messages and e-mails relating to the concept of folding yourself to fit the needs of others, your authenticity is inspiring as well.

As promised, Part II to the discussion is coming.

In the meantime I thought we could chat about showing up in your life un-folded: specifically in the dating/romance department.

Unfolded Dating & Relating:

I confess, over the past few years of silencing my voice and needs in relationships I’ve begun to idolize the literal speaking of truth.

-> Say what you want

-> Express yourself

-> Use your words

And while this certainly helps one live an unfolded life, have you noticed there are places and spaces where words actually take away from the moment?

Maybe its because words pull us out of your body and into our heads?

Whatever the case may be words, I’m finding, have their limits. And the constant quest to find the right ones can be…eh?

I’ve recently gotten present to the limits of words as I’ve been dating.

For instance, a few weeks ago an incredible man looked me deep in my eyes and ask with sincere curiosity:

“What do you want, Mary Catherine?”.

And no matter how much I coach women to locate their truth and express it using their words,

this question had me stumped.

Mute.

Like. Could. Not Open. My. Mouth. And. Respond.

So I just stared at him and tried to look cute.

Can you relate to this moment?

Hilarious.

As a result, I judged myself for my inability to communicate what I wanted:

“I must not be evolved enough as a woman to be CLEAR on what I want and not sexy enough to SPEAK it.”, I told myself.

Oh inner critic Mary C, you’re so cute.

Then I came across today’s quote and my soul said, “Ahh.”

It’s a melt-worthy prose and opened new possibilities.

Let’s read it again:

“I want to love you wildly.

I don’t want words,

but inarticulate cries,

meaningless,

from the bottom of my most primitive being,

that flow from my belly like honey.

A piercing joy, that leaves me

empty,

conquered,

silenced.”

~ Anais Nin

Um, yes please.

I realized in that moment that MAYBE to live unfolded, fully expressed, doesn’t mean we must always rely on WORDS.

According to your feedback, we’re all jazzed about living our most unfolded life.

AND we’re jazzed about creating and living juicy love relationships.

Today I  simply offer the idea, the alternative consideration, that maybe in love (and ANY area of your life) you’re not looking for that which can be explained or captured.

Maybe you’re looking to be fully in your body,

the wordless state,

the feeling of ahh,

the linger of ‘Yes’,

The-no-words-but-oh-so-much-is-being-said space.

And maybe, for you, the best way to be unfolded and authentic is to surrender deeper into the silences.

Something to consider.

And it’s all a dance:

Words.

No words.

Here’s to us  living the unfolded life, both in how we speak and how we allow ourselves to sink deeper and deeper into the silences.

Peace and love,

Mary C

PS. Was at my best friends wedding last month and after “I Do” they danced down the aisle to “Love you Madly” by Cake. This song. My gosh, this song. Blast from past and oh so YES.

Photo Cred: Chris Craymer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2017-06-26T14:52:24+00:00 By |On Love|0 Comments

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